Troubled Thoughts......

As i Thoughtfully search countless reasons on why i feel this way when your around me.

I tune things down

looking inside the mirror of my thoughts....

........and i notice,
I see the same repetitive images you would see if you were in a mirrored room.

the only thing i think of is you,
when your around or when something reminds me of you.

That one reminder is the "LOVE" you have towards the world around you and for others.

As we use to be,

I miss the way i use to hold you,

It felt as if you healed me and made me a different person when i was with you.

I miss that new feeling I had for you......

as I gazed into your eyes.

Now as it drastically halted over night. that new me seemed to vanish, escaping through the hole you once kept secured.

Now that I see you, (but in a different way) "I Hurt" as if i lost that one feeling forever, that wont feel again. as i want to. i don't know how to puzzle things back together if i cant read a complex language that you give me.

Well i kinda feel this way for a long time, I'm just now posting it. its just a free write. hope you hear me out for a change..

The "illinos college".Track meet.suprise!

Alright Im just coming back from this Track meet i had Over at "Illinos college" in the middle of nowhere,Illinos.

so the competition wasn't all that; it was shwack ( Thats right thats beyond wack)

i could of basically jogged a 400m with the dudes that were there running.

So This is the first meet i would actaully watch my event and see what i'm getting into for the outdoor season so I go chill over at the Pole Vaulting stage and check it out . And dude they had sume pretty sick vaulter i think the last hieght was like 15'6.(im only 12'6)

but they did have a few sucky dudes 1 or 2 i could of actaully vaulted at this meet since they started at 10'6'' but i havent had any practice so i didnt worry about it

Back to my surprise of the day.

So im sitting over there with my friend liz like listening to music then right in front of me there's this man that looked familiar so i thought to my self " where the hell do i kno u from!" So im thinking to myself, then all of a sudden HARTWIG COMES IN TO MY HEAD.

Im like no way so i started asking my teammates saying that looks just like jeff hartwig my favorite 4 time olympian polvaulter. but they looked at me funni and confused so they didnt know how i was talking about but then He Leaves! so i asked around seeing what his name was

AND IT ACTAULLY WAS HIM!

yup this guy here thee jeff hartwig.

It was an honor to actaully get a chance to talk to this guy i was shocked for a moment but i came around and walked over and talked to him after i seen him talking to my coaches. it's amazing to see such an achiever in my sights it gave me even a bigger urge to go for my goal 14'6'' for this year. and this is even better this crazed polevaulting G is going to come around and help me on my techniques! yes him helping a guy like me this is gonna be tight!!!...

well im out.

The dueces have been vaulted!

peace

random thoughts

Dude, im so P'd off right now its not even funny im just gonna Free-write this blog (no poem no editing). imma just let off some steam by writting maybe u could help me or i could be helping u who cares.

Iiight Life for me is in a basic shyt hole at the moment i got so many issues it's not funni. seriouslly...

So this is about "whirlled love" like relationships and me Suck ass to the 10th power like foreal i mean they just cant work like seriouslly i think in the time of my life that i really need sumeone u kno but i cant never find that right one, i mean i have women coming up to me tryna talk to me but y bother i'll get bored by the end of the month and ready to end it.

I love being single its like the ultimate joy in life u dont have to worry about relations with any one You ur own lil ruler of what u want to do i love that. but sumtimes it's also lonesome.

so back to this "whirled love" its actaully about this girl i kno i mean mayne shes amazing i really dont fully cope the fact why i like this gurl so much. i mean is it her big brown eyes, or her nice figure, or maybe in the fact that she makes sence to me than all theese other females, she's book smart, she serious with her life, and she takes care of her own and even others. thats somthing about her i enjoy. plus tha looks lol

but me and her or confusing as hell i dont kno if its me playing my cards wrong or her not wanting to risk losing me as a friend... i really wanna be with her its just shes not fully commiting to a relationship i mean how hard could it be, if things wont work out i would understand that it wasnt suppose to be.. but how am i going to know its not to be when we dont even try .... i kno am kiddish sumtimes but around everybody i mean when im around u .. i can be more or my self me acting a fool around people is a front so i wont show my feelings around others really.. i mean i kno she feels sumthing for me its just she doesnt want to take that risk i mean isnt thats what lifes all about TAKING RISK NOT CAUTION thats how u live life.

but i hate how she acts around me evertime i try to get closer to her it seems as she draws me farther in a hole away from her but im a determined kat i'll keep going till i make my way out that hole.

i think i need to stop i got so much on my mind its like "whirled"

If.FarGo.Was.The.Cast For Friends (lol)

What's one t.v. show that Fargo would perectly fit? Hmm any suggestion anybody !

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

so im like hella bored Fargo-ians

so enjoy im finna ridicoule Dat ass!!

MoniCa (Jay)

Iight Jay is diffeniantly Monica why may You ask simply bcuz how both of them like to take charge in there life and feel best independent than dependant on other, they live life by the minute maybe second. Hmm sarcastic jokers lol

Chandler(BO)

I would of been chandler but i feel Bo fits him better there both joke alot

and like maken a Point when its totally ridiculous.

Joey _Heel-Toe_

Wow u alreadi kno !! naw i wont' brag my self but fargo belives that i could fill the shoes of JOey the Jo"ster

i guess maybe imma big Goof and i got thoose gorgous looks!!

maybe i flirt a lil too much??? iono

Phoebe (Trina)

TRina!! that all i gotta say there both arnt from Earth, but from some far galaxy .. where porn is free to public eyes lol

Rachel ( Chelby/Imani)

Hmmm either chelbz or imani they bothe like haveing what they want and are like total shop-a-holics

Ross ( Moses)

Moses moses moses this is U lol if u gotta crazy relationship all the tyme or gets women number's like every other day this would be u !

OK im Out . thowin da dueces out da back pocket :<

I'm From FarGo Be'Atch!!!!

A time for change?... I would say!

A time for change? ... I would say!

Alrighty then so today was inauguration for President Barrack H. Obama

This is UN-B-liveable to like experiance this in my life, I'm really excited for obama and everyone else who lives in this country. why may you ask? we'll you had people out there that criticized the possibility of a (black president).

No A

Multi-culturial Diverse President

Getting into office and with good judgement the electorial college made its mind on the right choice "That's my Opinion" on who would best lead this country.

I really dont fully grasp the fact on how powerful this change has been yet maybe as I live on I will....

This moment here in history is just the flowing waters of a trapped river to braise free into the open land of this country. "Yes and u can quote the quote on quote I did" (it's mine..)

But as i was saying on the Flowing waters, We all now know that we have a chance to be whatever we want to be in life obama is one of the mighty few who is showing this dream come into reality. This isn't just his dream or YOUR dream this is EVERYONE's dream all around this lusious world.

Now, we have an oppurtunity to change our greedy was as a country maybe we will maybe we wont but its a step into doing so.

This is the Opputunity for us all now There are no more excuses You can be any color or race to be whatever u want to be from a janitor from tha janky Mcdonalds on parker & 367 to a ceo president of a large company, The possiblity is open ladies and gents so braise this and achieve your passions.

Ok thats all i gotta say for the moment lol.....

I'm really not into politics tho but its a good idea to start people who arnt, Just so that You'll Now know what going underneath your noses...

And yes they made a freakin comic book with spidy and barrack "himself" lol wtf but awsome!

To A Place I can't Say ;P

_ _ _- Town Visit

Was the most random-nist ( Hiltonnesse) exploration I've ever done..... Like seriouly And this is my story....

Iight one fateful night I was with a few friends (aka F.M.X) Chillaxin at Coffee Cartels sippin on some hot coco; actually white hot coco with soy milk and a sliceof pastry

so we're doing our thing CHILLAXIN in the cafe i start commenting on the hot white coco (with soy milk)

And she like "You know soy milk has Extrogen in it"

I'm like "SAY WHAT!" isnt that a female thing women have ?

So that totally threw me off the map for Hot white coco with (soy milk)

The girl who set me up will be called "R.U. Serious Jade"

and the other will be known as......"Bo-jangels"

Alright back to the cafe now we're talking talking about Life it self and all of A sudden

R.u. Serious Jade

Thought of the idea of Jumping in the car and driving To _ _ _- Town

Bo-jangles and I looked at each other andback at her for sume reason i was bored didnt have nothing else to do so I'm like Let's do it! Bo-jangles agreed with it too

Now this discission was made at 11pm friday night

so we started bringing are money together seeing what we could work with, And we were pretty good with that and gas money.

NOW the 3 of us all thought who would be able to go

we came up with three.

called them up

then, went on our way to get them

So, were on our way to pick up

The Orpan Girl ( why? cuz she looked like one when we forced her out da house)

Now in the car we have:

• 
  
  R.u. serious Jade


• 
  
  Bo-jangles


• 
  
  Orpan girl


• 
  
  me

Iight so we're now heading back to R.u. serious Jade's place of stay to fix on her car at midnight.

so through the restless nightly morning i periodically cheaked on Bo-jangles and Lewis becuase it was seiously cold and I had no point to be out there so i went inside and fell out on the couch Also Orpan Girl was out cold on the other couch

R.u serious Jade was around somewhere....So through the whole night lewis and bo-jangles been working on this car its going on 10 am when lewis realizes that he changed the wrong spark plugs!

Im like danm so we forget about the broken car and hop into the (engine that could car) so we start the trip to my house so i can grab my things like Blankets, clothes, and everyday things.

so now were off to _ _ _- Town

for 5 hours of boredom yup 5 hours i was up for all of them cuase of me being the nevogator and all so were cruisein down da highways joking around and playing 21 question i found alot about my F.M.X people.

so We get to _ _ _- Town around 7pm

its literally amazing like jaw-droping. I just then realized we just drove to the place out the blue.

Pause i really dont wanna write anymore.... i mean if i talk about the places we went to it might spoil where we went You know?

But it was really cool we Ate, walked like crazy, and shopped, etc.... Next time i know to bring more money cuase im broker than a homeless man

So yeah folks i kno ur disappointed cuz i didnt get into details but maybe next time.... ;P

Its a great story for my friday and saturday lol

"Digging Out"

Digging Out

Trapped and alone in one's thoughts

I'm troubled by the concequences my mouth Unearths,

digging me farther down to

NOTHING.....

The walls Surrounding me finally

As I am confused as just of a lost boy, But

My thoughts seem to reamerge from the depths of my dreamful mind

I soon realize my lost-founded words find a meaning with each other,

And come as one,

What's that above? Light? Yes the light i've been digging for

Is there above me.

In that light i see her

The one i dug for to find that question of WHY?

Why her?

Why me?

Why am i incontrollably wanting her?

As i reamerge theese thoughts,

My once founded words seem to fail at thier foundation

And i fall once again .... Deeper and DEEPER in a hole of lost words

I see her above

I want her to know, WHY?

Why i need her

So I see theese lost-founded words

And try once again to reconstruct them better to get her Answers..... And Mine.....